Episode 3

Episode 3 Transcript:

Hello! Welcome to the Ashleigh Deane Show, I’m Ashleigh Deane! 

Thank you for being here today – I have some fun things in store for this episode because as I said – this is a place for insight, inspiration, a little bit of news, and light hearted fun…  the last 2 episodes I don’t feel I’ve delivered on the fun! 

When I was teaching – I had to first set the tone and expectations of my classroom, then we could relax a little and dare I say – have fun. Since this is my new classroom –  maybe the first 2 episodes were kind of like orientation, setting the tone… and now we can relax and hopefully have a little more fun. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel fully relaxed doing this podcast bc it is scary putting myself out there… but maybe!

My hope as always is that this light hearted episode can brighten your week and bring a smile to your face. And to help me deliver on this hope, I’ve invited another brother to join me! 

So, 2 episodes in, and it is fitting for episode number 3 that my brother TREY will be joining us. In Italian, Trey is the number 3. His given name is Raymond and behind my dad and Grandpop, he is the third Raymond. But we’ve always called him TREY…. I am honored to have him join me today! 

TREY!

Current Events:

This weekend… my mom hosted her HS reunion – and I got to meet some of her friends. One of which was a fellow usc grad, and a national champion football player. I met him the same day as the USC spring game. A beautiful day to start to a new chapter of usc football – I think it was an omen of fabulous things to come. But – this is a place for non-biased news… except when it comes to usc football. Kidding. 

Also in the news… is a continued discussion of the negative effects of social media. As I mentioned last week in my random ash insight with the like button on the iMessage tapbacks… similarly, the information I found has to do with the like or share button on Facebook, instagram, twitter, and other social platforms. 

I read an essay published in the Atlantic by Johnathan Haidt that I first heard about on Bari Weiss’ podcast ‘Honestly.’ In this fascinating essay – John explains how the like and share buttons transformed how we use the internet…  

That is definitely deep, and it was intriguing to me as I recently had a feeling to take a break from social media, and when I did – it was refreshing. But why? What is the negative that sprouts from social media? I have always thought – we can use this invaluable tool for good, which I still believe

In this snippet from his essay – John shares the phenomenon of the like button… 

“Before 2009, Facebook had given users a simple timeline––a never-ending stream of content generated by their friends and connections, with the newest posts at the top and the oldest ones at the bottom. This was often overwhelming in its volume, but it was an accurate reflection of what others were posting. That began to change in 2009, when Facebook offered users a way to publicly “like” posts with the click of a button. That same year, Twitter introduced something even more powerful: the “Retweet” button, which allowed users to publicly endorse a post while also sharing it with all of their followers. Facebook soon copied that innovation with its own “Share” button, which became available to smartphone users in 2012. “Like” and “Share” buttons quickly became standard features of most other platforms.

Shortly after its like button began to produce data about what best engaged its users, Facebook developed algorithms to bring each user the content most likely to generate a like. Or some other interaction eventually including the share as well… “

I definitely I recommend reading the essay… There is much more he brings up regarding our current societal problems that stem from social media, and but my main takeaway is this – go to the source! Like I’ve mentioned previously – I was skeptical of the news, and for good reason. In this world of social media, anyone can say anything, and anyone can like it. But that doesn’t necessarily make it true!

Random Ash Insight – 

When I was teaching, I had a process for coming up with lessons… I let my mind stew on a topic, then I waited- with the utmost assurance, that wonderful ideas for lesson plans and projects would come to me and settle on my mind. And Most the time those ideas did come… but sometimes- maybe 10% of the time, they didn’t.. so I had to improvise a little… but I learned that if nothing was coming, it was still ok, just trust – and more importantly don’t freak out.

How often do we have to do that in life. Trust – one of the hardest things… because it is literally relinquishing control… and like our friend Monica says – relinquish is just a fancy word for lose! 

And losing control – no thank you! But I think, and in my experience, when I do let go – it always turns out better….

I have a great example of this for this week’s random ash insight – in what my friend Jessica and I call – the pearl earring. 

I used to go to NYC every year. So much fun, so much shopping, so much Luxe! Loved it! One trip, I was there with my sister and brother, we went for our cousins wedding… While there – I bought myself something from Tiffany & Co, it was my little tradition! Before we got to Tiffany – we had lunch at The Plaza and I realized I had lost my pearl earring. I was bummed. And I knew I had been all over the city – so finding it was probably not likely! I resigned myself to the lost earring and bummed – I accepted it. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, I did! They were my favorite earrings, a gift from my parents! When we got to Tiffany – we had to do some kind of customer service errand so we went all the way to the top floor. My sister was with me, and I’m pretty sure my brother, trey that you just met, was lost somewhere in the city… but that’s a story for another time… a good one! We went to customer service and had a seat. They called me up, my sister stayed at our seat and when I got back, before I sat down again… I saw… laying right there on the chair… my pearl earring. It  must have gotten lost in my hair… and come out at a perfect time for it to fall lightly onto that white cushion. We were in shock! Not only in shock – but totally ecstatic!! I had let go, and I was at peace – then, not thinking I would ever see that pearl earring again… there it was. So many lessons can be drawn from this story – so I’ll let you draw your own lesson and takeaway. And I’d love for you to share it with me…

And that’s what I call – a Random Ash Insight! 

On this same idea of TRUST – I’ve realized, after my back surgeries …that I mentioned last week, I had a hard time trusting my body again. Having a foreign object inside my body between my vertebrae inside my spine… took a toll on my mental psyche! And for awhile I didn’t feel safe inside my body. That sounds weird, and trust me, its as weird as it sounds. But thankfully, as part of my recovery – I started doing reformer pilates at Core Pilates – a nice plug here – you can find them online at my core studios dot com or on instagram at core pilates lv – lots of weekly and monthly specials filled with challenging classes and talented instructors…  – every time I tried to move away from pilates -my back would start to ache. Frustrated… I went back to pilates and those aches inevitably went away. I decided there was something to this practice of pilates and I needed more info – so I looked into becoming a pilates instructor. I wasn’t sure I would teach, but I hoped gaining knowledge in the practice of pilates would calm my nerves and help me feel more safe inside my body. Its been 2 months of intensive trainings, and in the first weekend – the teacher taught us details about the spine and specific muscles that support the spine. I knew in my pilates practice that those muscles were targeted in each class and strengthened. This new knowledge eased my fears immediately, and I found myself feeling more at ease inside my body. Its hard to explain that feeling – but I’m glad I took a chance in learning more about pilates because maybe I will be able to teach someday, and help others just as my instructors have helped me. 

On that note – I want to give a shout out to a dear friend. We had lunch this week, and she is someone I admire in many ways. But currently – for her ability to build her own business, which is something I’m working on myself with Ashleigh Deane.com. She patiently sat with me, and answered all my questions, and even more I didn’t have. She truly wants me to succeed…. A few weeks ago – at the retreat I mentioned in Couer d’Alene – I received this valuable advice. “No one that has done more than you, will ever bring you down. They will always want to lift you up and inspire you.” My friend exemplified this advice and proved it is true. I am so grateful for the friends I’ve met through different stages of life. I’m always amazed at the beautiful people I meet. 

And lastly – I want to correct a mis-pronounciation from my first episode – I said Bill Mayer – like John Mayer…a few days after the episode aired I was driving and it dawned on me… Its Bill MARR… 

I admit – mispronunciation is a common occurrence for me! My brother, Trey, got a drone a few years ago and I could not pronounce it correctly…it was like my brain turned off! But remember, I said it up front, I’m a doofus… gotta own it! 

Thanks for listening to The Ashleigh Deane Show!